The girl from the North country
Part I - Awareness
Spanish writer Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer once said, and I quote: "Hoja que del árbol seca arrebata el vendaval sin que nadie acierte el surco donde a caer volverá." I read this phrase for the first time moments before boarding the train to Madrid, during a winter day at the end of February. Never before I had read Bécquer, much less poetry, but I was looking for something new to take with me on the journey from Pamplona and stumbled upon his work "Rhymes and Legends" by chance. An old book, with some loose pages and tucked away on a shelf at my parents' house that I thought might be curious to check out during the ride.
Two hours later I found myself at the height of the Bardenas Desert, already on the train. On the far horizon, diminished but highlighted by the sunlight, I distinguished the Pyrenees. The mountains that separate the Iberian Peninsula from the rest of the European continent remained impassive. Their jagged silhouette of brown tones is a much more significant element for me nowadays, clearer I would dare to say. A door, or a wall depending on how one wants to see it, that guards what my life was for the last two years in the cold North. Now, everything is on the other side of the mountain range, and with it, Scandinavia, the friends I made, and the experiences that were part of my daily life. Serene memories collected under the reminiscence of sunset.
I opened Bécquer's book again. "Hoja que del árbol seca arrebata el vendaval..." I repeated in my head as I whispered the verse. Those words resonated transcendentally beyond the pages and evoked a moment of profound change in my past timeline, a change that just dated back to the same week but a year ago. A change forged between the streets of Stockholm and the coast of Haugesund.
She. The girl from the North country.
Part II - Gratitude physique
It's curious to think about the people one crosses paths with in life. Some may be present around you for years without making any substantial impact, while others, like her, may stay for a few months and act as the most effective of catalysts. Our bond ignited like a wildfire, its flames licking at the edges of our souls, fueled by an intensity that seemed unstoppable. But just as quickly as it blazed, it burned out, leaving us both orphaned by what had created our present time. And just like that, one day, we became total strangers to each other.
Do I still love her? Just in an affectionate way. Do I miss her? Well, sometimes. Do I need her? No.
Yet, what I can assure is that I really appreciate her, and, just like the leaf snatched by Bécker's gale, our short encounter represented an unpredictable learning experience. In this journey, I embarked in silence, with my sole focus on healing the "grietas" (cracks) that I discovered within myself. I realized that vulnerability comes at a high price as a man, where being able to stand on your own feet and taking care of yourself is essential for growth and attraction, not only for relationships, but also for what life has to offer. Leadership and self-love so others can follow. Musts of our human condition that I was requiered to improve.
She is aware that I am talking about her; however, she doesn’t know, and never knew, the significant impact and transformation that this girl from the North country brought into my life. She closed the door to me so that I could open the windows. And I did.
Part III - The destination
My stop in Madrid is nothing more than a mere inspirational point, a temporary pause in the bustling city where I attempt to plan my next turn. I started with my eyes pointing at the Pyrenees, but for quite some time now, that view remains distant, more like a farewell. I could go wherever I want and I have some doubts, but I am not overwhelmed by them.
One year has passed since my major drifting. At this moment, I recognize the analogy that Bécker expressed: the path where the leaf has to land cannot be noticed with the wind, which becomes the tapestry of experiences, each requiring a fresh perspective to mend and ultimately weave into the fabric of who I am today. I keep good friends, a great job with great work colleagues, and lifetime memories. It was the girl from the North country who truly enabled me to reconsider these elements in another way, assisting me in connecting the dots so that, today, I can discover a new enhancement path.
The weather is still cold in Madrid. Perhaps it would be nice if the leaf was pushed by Mediterranean winds.
I am heading South.
Thanks for reading. Thank you, Iris.
